“Look [at the man who is]…the slave and prisoner of his own opinion of himself…Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.” Henry David Thoreau, Walden, p. 7.
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There is an Iraqi folktale of a man who is possessed by an evil jinn. Though he does not wish to, because he is possessed the man speaks horrible words that destroy beloved relationships and even cause the deaths of loved ones. Many of us may recall times when we uttered horrible words that damaged relationships, as if we too were possessed by such a jinn. One friend struck a chord with many of us when he said that he often speaks to himself about himself with that horrific voice of the evil jinn. What stories about ourselves do we tell to ourselves?
The Buddhist leader Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope.” As we speak to ourselves about ourselves, are we telling stories of joy?
You are the teller of your stories, only you know the full range of the tales. Yes, we all have stories in our histories that show our weaknesses, our pettiness, our moments of immaturity, selfishness, and mean-spiritedness – but we all have other true tales about ourselves, as well. You know the stories that capture moments when you were really present for a loved one in their time of need; those times when you did something creative or extraordinary that even surprised yourself; those untold anecdotes where you acted with simple kindness even though nobody was aware of what you did and the positive impact you had.
You have stories about you that are not tyrannical; you have tales of yourself that inspire confidence, joy, and hope. You need not broadcast these positive tales to the world with braggadocio, but please whisper these beneficial stories to yourself – not just for your benefit, but for the world’s benefit – because as you recognize and accentuate your own positive tales, you will be inspired to add to that litany. We can “add to the good” by focusing on the uplifting stories in our histories.There are tales of loving kindness that mark your being here on Earth. Tell these stories to the one listener who needs to hear them the most: yourself.
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You are the “resident expert” on the stories from your biography. What are some of the tales from your life that elucidate hope, joy, compassion, and confidence? Tell yourself one of your uplifting tales.
Try to remember some of these stories when you are feeling down-hearted or discouraged with yourself.
(Music: Courtesy of Adrian von Ziegler, “Sacred Earth.” )